Looking Forward

I had a sudden rush of thoughts while I was trying to go to sleep last night. It's November. It's Thanksgiving break. We're halfway to summer. Where the heck has my life went?

Every once in a while I just get this feeling that my life is going by so fast. I mean, I'M in HIGH SCHOOL for crying out loud! Every once in a while that really makes me shocked. I get this feeling that I don't want to grow up so fast. I want to stay young and enjoy it!

But, time constantly goes by faster, because I'm looking forward to things. When I look back at the past three months, it seems like it went by so fast. But when I think ahead a week to my auditions for the school play, it seems like it's a long time to wait! My sister deals with this, too. In fact she recently said to me, "Three weeks until Zed comes seems like so long, but he's staying three weeks and it just seems so short!".

I've been looking forward to these two plays that are coming up in the winter that I'm going to be in and to various things about growing up like getting my learner's permit, a job, a driving's license, where I'm going to college and what career do I want to have. These things and little minor things that come up throughout the day have I been looking forward to. But every once in a while, all I want time to do is SLOW DOWN!

I think looking forward to things makes time go faster, whether we believe it or not, and sometimes we just have to try and not look forward to things. To enjoy what we're doing now, because it will be gone in an instant.

I think I'll remember this when I'm twenty something. I'll be saying something like, "Man, I wish I could be fourteen again. I would have no responsibilities and no stress about anything like jobs or college. That would be the best."