....You REALLY want to tell your friend something but you don't because you don't know how they'll respond.
Even though you're best friends with the person, you still think that if you tell them things that bother you that have something to do with them (Even if it's the smallest ittiest bittiest thing) they'll still judge you and belittle you for it.
You have no proof that they will
But even so, you still refrain from saying a word
For fear of losing their respect or some aspect of their friendship.
And so you figure that if you can't tell your friend, why not someone-a youth leader from church- that you're comfortable talking to and being around?
Yes, that'll totally work!
But you still don't say one word.
Because you don't know how they'll take to it. You don't want their pity-your pride won't let you- but you also don't want them to think that you're jealous even though you suspect that you are. Won't that just make them think little of you too? Even if it's just a smidgen??
And even when you do sort of make up your mind... you can't find them. And then when you do, they're busy talking to someone, and you'd feel like a nuisance for taking them out of their possibly important conversation just to wallow in your own self pity of feeling underneath another's shadow.
Or you find them... and you have that moment of doubt.
What if...?
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I HATE those moments. Don't get me started. I hope you figured it out now! (Since my comment is SUPER SUPER late) -Eastin
ReplyDeleteXD IKR?
DeleteWell I had a dream on Friday. And I think I was trying to tell me something about it. :D I'm positive that my head was trying to tell me that I shouldn't worry about it 'cause my friends care about me and I shouldn't automatically think they're gonna hate me ya know?
And then I ended up telling the friend I'm talking about in the post about that dream and she didn't think it was weird. (i mean... she PROBABLY thought it was a lot weird. I mean I thought it was A LOT weird. I mean.. I kinda killed her lil brother on accident with an old bus that me and a shadowy faceless guy that we decided to call Skyheart was in when we were trying to get away from these weird shadowy faceless demon zombie THINGS. So yeah.) I guess what I'm saying is that she reacted the way the good side of me knew she would react. XD Like a friend who is listening (and trying to understand) to another friend's dream that had something to do with them that wasn't exactly GOOD and they're kinda bothered by it so....
I dunno what my point is anymore. XD (*is feeling like Pinkie Pie*) :3